Saturday, May 11, 2013

A Thrift Store Without Clowns?

I know, that sounds impossible, right? Well, it's true. On my way home from an interview, I stopped at what appeared to be a magical place: Texas Thrift Store. It was a thrift store with Texas in the name! Surely it would be filled with wonders!

I was very, very wrong. It was lacking in fuckery. Not even a clown in sight. I was disheartened, to say the least. However, please enjoy the few pictures, some of which are quality fuckery.


Lifeless dolls wait for an unsuspecting child to carry them home. Then, they will come to life.
Horrible, horrible life.





The high pitched shrieks of this doll shattered its enclosure. Now, it can escape and spread terror among the living.
And it can be yours for $19.91!





Yet another thrift store painting crying out for tentacles.
Won't someone think of the tentacles?





I wasn't entirely sure what this was about, but the dolls appear to have mange.
Also, they're running from a hungry Pac-Man who's disguised as sports equipment.





Barbie, falling on hard times, is displaying her goods in the hopes that someone will take an interest.
I'd stay away. She might have thrift herpes.





For when "Bah humbug!" is just not enough to tell the world that you're an asshole.
Also comes in Orphan Kicking.





Someone actually bought one of the beach souvenir coconut monkeys and didn't even keep it long enough to leave Texas.
This is still a trend that baffles me.





I never did figure out what purpose this ceramic baby serves.
Nothing good, I can tell you that.





A fake flower glued to a chunk of wood and displayed in a plastic box. Now that is some tasteful decor.
"Taste" being "almost none."





And finally, probably one of the worst thank you gifts that ever existed.
At least they sprung for the brand name chips.


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