WTF Wednesday: Derpy Cougar and Coyote Faces

I went to The Corner Shoppe Mall in Austin yesterday because taxidermy. At their delightfully whimsical store filled to the brim with all sorts of dead animals, I found the new love of my life. Now, I've never wanted a taxidermy feline before. Given my almost religious love of cats, it seems a little sacrilegious and I need all the good karma I can get. However, this magnificent beast would be an exception to that rule.

I give you, the gorgeous, amazing, one-of-a-kind, Derpy Cougar:

Look at that magnifiderp creature!

Flea Market Fuquerie: Another Blast From The Past

I've been sick this week, so I haven't been back to my usual haunts. However, I had ample time to download all the pictures that have been accumulating on my cell phone's SD card for three years. I found a few bits of entertainment for you.

Who says you can't find classy furniture in a flea store?

Yes, pretty much everyone.

A Thrift Store Without Clowns?

I know, that sounds impossible, right? Well, it's true. On my way home from an interview, I stopped at what appeared to be a magical place: Texas Thrift Store. It was a thrift store with Texas in the name! Surely it would be filled with wonders!

I was very, very wrong. It was lacking in fuckery. Not even a clown in sight. I was disheartened, to say the least. However, please enjoy the few pictures, some of which are quality fuckery.


Lifeless dolls wait for an unsuspecting child to carry them home. Then, they will come to life.

Horrible, horrible life.

3 Cats + 1 Live Crawfish = Confusion

I'm slacking, I know. I'm having to be a responsible adult and all and it cuts into my fuckery time. I'm just as annoyed about this as you are.

However, I was able to entertain myself with some feline-related antics. The grocery store was selling live crawfish and I decided I needed one to bring home to befuddle the cats. They made me buy a whole pound and in retrospect, I should have taken advantage of that a bit more.


"Is it food? A toy? This hurts my feline brain!"

Lily enjoyed flipping it on its back, then walking away as the crawfish flailed helplessly.

"BOW BEFORE ME, WORTHLESS FELINE, FOR I AM THE CRAWFISH GOD!!"

Thanks to Michaela Grey for the perfect caption.

WTF Wednesday: Some Randomness For Your Enjoyment

For those of you not looking at my Tumblr, here's a few pictures I found in the dregs of my old cell phone's storage card.


I need this movie. It's not a want, it's a need.

"Let me use this boat of sunbathing girls as my gun."

Texas: Land of Metal Monsters

Any fans of The Bloggess will know Beyonce, the giant metal chicken. Well, it turns out giant metal chickens aren't the only metal creatures gracing the state of Texas. Just about anything you can think of comes in metal animal form. Well, maybe not anything I can think of. Because some of the things I can think of don't translate well to welded sculptures. It's probably for the best.

Anyway, these things are everywhere. I've seen them at gas stations, roadside stands, antique stores, flea markets, grocery stores, even department stores that are probably very confused about the whole thing. Naturally, I would be remiss in my duties if I didn't show you some of the fabulous creatures wandering about.

This is the rare breed of donkey that originated from a very confused mating with a Slinky.

Then a threesome with a plunger-footed booby.

Bad Movie Night: Battleship

If you haven't seen it, feel free to ignore this post and wander off. Otherwise, please continue.

I am not going to do my usual running synopsis because I don't want to overdo it before I embark on writing my paper. Plus, I already started snarking at this movie to someone in chat and I'm too lazy to start over. Hence the disjointed comments.

Da Vinci's Demons turned out to be nothing what the description said, so I needed something else to watch. I was in the mood for explodey and/or scifi thingies. So for some ungodly reason, I turned on Battleship.

First of all, no way the Navy would take that guy, not with a drunk and disorderly with breaking and entering. Not in this day and age. Also, no fucking way this guy would be a damn officer, come on! My brother can't join the Navy as an officer because his GPA from his first degree (he's working on his second) is slightly below their requirement. Also, with his constant lateness and fighting... (Hopper, not my brother).

Assuming Hopper is the same as burrito idiot.

I imagine this is how the conversation went during research:

Hollywood: "The military, how does it work?"
The Military: "Dude, we've been working together for a century. How do you not know this stuff by now?"
Hollywood: "Boooooooobs..."