Saturday, May 9, 2015

Mannequin mannequan't

I found a headless mannequin at Goodwill because fate was smiling on me that day. I've been wanting a mannequin for years now because reasons. We have a mannequin store here in town, but they're a bit pricey. So you can imagine how happy I was to find one for $14.99. My husband was shopping with me and immediately helped me carry it to the register when I said "I need this." There was a second mannequin at the register, waiting to be picked up by another customer. I momentarily felt bad for breaking up the twins, but realized it was better this way as I did not know if I had the space for two mannequins. Better they each get a loving home with plenty of room rather than have to fight for affection.

Thanks to the help of some friends, I named her Derriere de Milo. She's spent the last few weeks nude behind the sofa, just for lack of getting to do stuff due to the Polaroid Fiasco. However, it's time she earn her keep. As my husband has been gone the past week at some sort of librarian seminar, I decided he needed a proper welcome home. So I got Derriere gussied up in some fancy attire, gave her a new head and accessories, and placed her in his shower, behind the curtain.

I originally wanted her to be holding an axe. Turns out she has two right arms and holding anything is a problem. I wonder if her twin has two left arms.

The plan was a success. My poor husband screamed in fright as he flung back the shower curtain. Upon collecting himself, he said "Congratulations, you finally got me."

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