Thursday, January 31, 2013

High School 1958 vs 2012: They Never Saw It Coming

As talked about in this post, I am going to write my own versions of that idiotic "High School 1958 vs 2008/2009/2010/2011/2012" thing that has been plaguing the internet. Please enjoy my interpretation of Scenario 5...

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

WTF Miscellany: Iowa Post Card

I'm a big fan of wtf, as you might have noticed. One thing I collect is boring vintage post cards, which I'll probably blog about at some point. However, I've noticed that in the world of vintage post cards, there is a whole lot of wtf going on.

While many jokes have timeless appeal, changing cultures and society have their own special humor. For example, airline food isn't much of a joke these days, having been replaced by commentary on TSA rectal exams. Prince Albert in a can has fallen out of fashion and there's no indication that Prince William is going to be cramming himself in steel containers anytime soon.

So when I come across some comedic vintage postcards, the humor is often utterly lost on me (especially Victorian and Edwardian postcards. You people be crazy). Or in the case of this Iowa post card, the humor isn't lost so much as I wonder what they were smoking.

If my Iowa farm family is any indication, weed wrapped in cornhusks.
What I've learned about 1909 life in Iowa from this postcard is pretty startling. It appears that Iowa was once plagued with gigantic rabbits that were stripping the landscape bare of any vegetation. This was such a menace to farmers that they had to hire teams of horseless carriage bounty hunters in order to chase these things down and lasso them into submission.

As the caption clearly states, when an Iowegian goes after anything, they get it. How many brave men and women died in the quest to eradicate this rabbit menace, I'll never know. I do know that I salute those brave warriors. Bravo.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Adults! Unusual New Offers!

Remember the 15 Million Lesbians on the Loose? Well, that fabulous magazine was filled with all sorts of ads for porn, lonely men to find escorts, stacks of porn, sex toys, video porn, leg lifts, book porn, mail order brides, comic porn, and did I mention porn? In the midst of this was my favorite ad ever:

Friday, January 25, 2013

Sexist Fuquerie: Disappointing Blog Post Is Disappointing

I've considered doing a post on any sexist fuquerie I've found, but truth be told, there's just so much of it, I don't know if it would be worth it. By "so much of it," I don't mean there's too much to photograph, I mean it's permeated our society so much, we don't even notice it.

So as a consolation prize, here's a picture of that Victorian humor I've warned you about:
Pickles seem a little too acidic for that sort of use.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

High School 1958 vs 2012: Revenge is Best Served Warren Ellis Style

As talked about in this post, I am going to write my own versions of that idiotic "High School 1958 vs 2008/2009/2010/2011/2012" thing that has been plaguing the internet. Please enjoy my interpretation of Scenario 4...

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

WTF Ads: Lanolin Lift!

Every once in a while, I come across an ad that makes me stop and think "Wtf am I seeing?" (Okay, so that happens a lot more often than "every once in a while.")

This ad for Helene Curtis lanolin shampoo is just such an ad. At first glance, it doesn't seem that weird. Okay, I lied. At first glance, it's still weird and the more you look at it, the weirder and more terrifying it becomes.

Hi! I'm going to murder you in your sleep!

From what I gather, when someone opens this shampoo, a disembodied head springs out, screaming "Give your hair a lanolin lift!" as it jiggles back and forth on its spring. The head is frozen in an uncanny mask of forced cheer, eyes glazed and long dead. There's nothing inside that head, only sorcery.

Also, those disembodied heads have to come from somewhere. You can't just go down to the corner store and buy a disembodied head (believe me, I've tried). So where is Helene Curtis getting these heads? Are they from people who returned the shampoo in dissatisfaction? Is it somewhere in the fine print that users must undergo decapitation in the name of lanolin? Where is the FDA on this? And why doesn't this head's hair look as twinkly as the ad promises?

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Thrift Store Fuquerie: Now With More Hairy Horror

I love having a Thrift Town just down the street. It's always got some enjoyable weirdness. Such as....

This candleholder, which is made from festering boils.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Jubilee: More Fun With Movies

Jubilee is a 1978 classic about Queen Elizabeth time traveling to the future and discovering a wasteland of apathy and pointlessness. I assume "Queen Elizabeth" is code for "the viewer."


The movie starts out with Queen Elizabeth's court midget bringing in the greyhounds...for no apparent reason. Then we switch to Queen Elizabeth who's asking her Sorcerer to show her the future. He does some magic and brings up a goth in a black spandex bodysuit who waxes philosophical and shows them a vision of the future.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Polyvinyl Acetate Fuquerie

I saw these things in the grocery store, and upon closer inspection, I decided I needed to take some home for experimentation. This was more worthless than I had hoped.
Boy, this sure looks like it could be fun. Balloons you blow from a tube of something that looks suspiciously like superglue!