Sunday, January 6, 2013

Polyvinyl Acetate Fuquerie

I saw these things in the grocery store, and upon closer inspection, I decided I needed to take some home for experimentation. This was more worthless than I had hoped.
Boy, this sure looks like it could be fun. Balloons you blow from a tube of something that looks suspiciously like superglue!




Okay, so it's more like wood glue.


The directions seem to be pretty straightforward. What could go wrong?


Other than mistaking it for a food item. Which is understandable, since the directions want me to use my mouth to engage this product.


I picked the red color because it was the first one I opened. This scene is not unlike a common one in my wood shop, which is barrels of fun, right?


I start with a small amount, in case it explodes hilariously.


So far so good, though not quite what I had pictured.


By the way, there's a skull manifesting in that balloon there, probably as a warning. See?


Now time to take it off--wait, what the fuck?


Why is this shit sticking to my fingers lik---oh, derp. It is glue.


That...is not what the package promised.


Stupid things are so sticky and fragile, they just tear and deflate. You can't do anything with them because handling them tears them up. So all you can do is blow them up and then throw them away. Wtf? How is this a toy?
I managed to blow up three long enough to get a picture. They do not at all look like alien placenta.


Conclusion: This is a fun toy if you feel like a jar of bubble solution is too wussy and you'd rather have your kids play with toxic thermoplastic substances, or if your kids want regular balloons, but you'd rather suck all the joy out of their childhood.

Word of advice to anyone playing with this stuff: Do NOT accidentally (or purposely) inhale. It's just like huffing glue and is bad for yer brainzez.

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