As talked about in this post, I am going to write my own versions of
that idiotic "High School 1958 vs 2008/2009/2010/2011/2012" thing that
has been plaguing the internet. Please enjoy my interpretation of
Scenario 5...
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
WTF Miscellany: Iowa Post Card
I'm a big fan of wtf, as you might have noticed. One thing I collect is boring vintage post cards, which I'll probably blog about at some point. However, I've noticed that in the world of vintage post cards, there is a whole lot of wtf going on.
While many jokes have timeless appeal, changing cultures and society have their own special humor. For example, airline food isn't much of a joke these days, having been replaced by commentary on TSA rectal exams. Prince Albert in a can has fallen out of fashion and there's no indication that Prince William is going to be cramming himself in steel containers anytime soon.
So when I come across some comedic vintage postcards, the humor is often utterly lost on me (especially Victorian and Edwardian postcards. You people be crazy). Or in the case of this Iowa post card, the humor isn't lost so much as I wonder what they were smoking.
What I've learned about 1909 life in Iowa from this postcard is pretty startling. It appears that Iowa was once plagued with gigantic rabbits that were stripping the landscape bare of any vegetation. This was such a menace to farmers that they had to hire teams of horseless carriage bounty hunters in order to chase these things down and lasso them into submission.
As the caption clearly states, when an Iowegian goes after anything, they get it. How many brave men and women died in the quest to eradicate this rabbit menace, I'll never know. I do know that I salute those brave warriors. Bravo.
While many jokes have timeless appeal, changing cultures and society have their own special humor. For example, airline food isn't much of a joke these days, having been replaced by commentary on TSA rectal exams. Prince Albert in a can has fallen out of fashion and there's no indication that Prince William is going to be cramming himself in steel containers anytime soon.
So when I come across some comedic vintage postcards, the humor is often utterly lost on me (especially Victorian and Edwardian postcards. You people be crazy). Or in the case of this Iowa post card, the humor isn't lost so much as I wonder what they were smoking.
 | |
| If my Iowa farm family is any indication, weed wrapped in cornhusks. |
As the caption clearly states, when an Iowegian goes after anything, they get it. How many brave men and women died in the quest to eradicate this rabbit menace, I'll never know. I do know that I salute those brave warriors. Bravo.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Adults! Unusual New Offers!
Remember the 15 Million Lesbians on the Loose? Well, that fabulous magazine was filled with all sorts of ads for porn, lonely men to find escorts, stacks of porn, sex toys, video porn, leg lifts, book porn, mail order brides, comic porn, and did I mention porn? In the midst of this was my favorite ad ever:
Friday, January 25, 2013
Sexist Fuquerie: Disappointing Blog Post Is Disappointing
I've considered doing a post on any sexist fuquerie I've found, but truth be told, there's just so much of it, I don't know if it would be worth it. By "so much of it," I don't mean there's too much to photograph, I mean it's permeated our society so much, we don't even notice it.
So as a consolation prize, here's a picture of that Victorian humor I've warned you about:
So as a consolation prize, here's a picture of that Victorian humor I've warned you about:
 |
| Pickles seem a little too acidic for that sort of use. |
Thursday, January 24, 2013
High School 1958 vs 2012: Revenge is Best Served Warren Ellis Style
As talked about in this post, I am going to write my own versions of
that idiotic "High School 1958 vs 2008/2009/2010/2011/2012" thing that
has been plaguing the internet. Please enjoy my interpretation of
Scenario 4...
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
WTF Ads: Lanolin Lift!
Every once in a while, I come across an ad that makes me stop and think "Wtf am I seeing?" (Okay, so that happens a lot more often than "every once in a while.")
This ad for Helene Curtis lanolin shampoo is just such an ad. At first glance, it doesn't seem that weird. Okay, I lied. At first glance, it's still weird and the more you look at it, the weirder and more terrifying it becomes.
From what I gather, when someone opens this shampoo, a disembodied head springs out, screaming "Give your hair a lanolin lift!" as it jiggles back and forth on its spring. The head is frozen in an uncanny mask of forced cheer, eyes glazed and long dead. There's nothing inside that head, only sorcery.
Also, those disembodied heads have to come from somewhere. You can't just go down to the corner store and buy a disembodied head (believe me, I've tried). So where is Helene Curtis getting these heads? Are they from people who returned the shampoo in dissatisfaction? Is it somewhere in the fine print that users must undergo decapitation in the name of lanolin? Where is the FDA on this? And why doesn't this head's hair look as twinkly as the ad promises?
This ad for Helene Curtis lanolin shampoo is just such an ad. At first glance, it doesn't seem that weird. Okay, I lied. At first glance, it's still weird and the more you look at it, the weirder and more terrifying it becomes.
 |
| Hi! I'm going to murder you in your sleep! |
From what I gather, when someone opens this shampoo, a disembodied head springs out, screaming "Give your hair a lanolin lift!" as it jiggles back and forth on its spring. The head is frozen in an uncanny mask of forced cheer, eyes glazed and long dead. There's nothing inside that head, only sorcery.
Also, those disembodied heads have to come from somewhere. You can't just go down to the corner store and buy a disembodied head (believe me, I've tried). So where is Helene Curtis getting these heads? Are they from people who returned the shampoo in dissatisfaction? Is it somewhere in the fine print that users must undergo decapitation in the name of lanolin? Where is the FDA on this? And why doesn't this head's hair look as twinkly as the ad promises?
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Thrift Store Fuquerie: Now With More Hairy Horror
I love having a Thrift Town just down the street. It's always got some enjoyable weirdness. Such as....
This candleholder, which is made from festering boils.
This candleholder, which is made from festering boils.
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