It's entirely possible this cookie jar is the perfect deterrent to anyone who wants a cookie.
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| "Go ahead, reach inside. I won't bite..." |
Or you could always go the demonic squirrel licking a jaundiced eyeball route for your cookie jar needs.
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| Or maybe it's a diseased breast. Either way, why the ever-loving fuck is it on a cookie jar? |
In case you think shoving coins into the hollowed out remains of a pig is too pedestrian for your banking needs, consider shoving into the severed tail stump of a unidragonooster.
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| With a saddle, naturally. |
Broken Back Horse is not talking to Mutant Penguin after he stole BBH's girlfriend, Head Standing Bird.
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| Another tale from Cars in Jars & Other Disappointing Children's Stories by Eunice Beaver. |
Barbie the hooker grandma wants you to come closer so she can tell you about that time she got the clap.
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| "Why can't we go to Grandpa Ken's house instead?" |
I don't know what Wildcat Juice is, but apparently it's best consumed with the severed head of its creator. ...And his assistant bisected and cemented onto the container.
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| What? I don't make the rules! |
The poultry industry is going too far with these obese monster chickens.
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| Surprisingly, not a planter like most ceramics I saw. |
Most high class costume balls frown on people wearing chicken suits. That's why I recommend this hat for the stealth chicken costume.
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| I'm kind of kicking myself for not getting it. |
Mangy, half eaten deer head. Because there's always a mangy, half eaten deer head.
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| It's a flea market rule. |
What's long, hard, and needs 69 smackers to go home with you?
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| What do you mean, "I wouldn't have guessed that?" How could you not guess a fish/horn? |
"Doctor Creepy will see you now. Please ignore the giant pills and syringe on the floor."
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| Unsurprisingly, he's Dr. Sexy's uncle. |
Why is there always a horrifying shell creature from beyond the whatever?
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| With a smashed face to boot. |
The lion's tongue looks m.o.i.s.t. Blergh. Shudder. Cringe.
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