It's entirely possible this cookie jar is the perfect deterrent to anyone who wants a cookie.
|"Go ahead, reach inside. I won't bite..."
Or you could always go the demonic squirrel licking a jaundiced eyeball route for your cookie jar needs.
|Or maybe it's a diseased breast. Either way, why the ever-loving fuck is it on a cookie jar?
In case you think shoving coins into the hollowed out remains of a pig is too pedestrian for your banking needs, consider shoving into the severed tail stump of a unidragonooster.
|With a saddle, naturally.
Broken Back Horse is not talking to Mutant Penguin after he stole BBH's girlfriend, Head Standing Bird.
|Another tale from Cars in Jars & Other Disappointing Children's Stories by Eunice Beaver.
Barbie the hooker grandma wants you to come closer so she can tell you about that time she got the clap.
|"Why can't we go to Grandpa Ken's house instead?"
I don't know what Wildcat Juice is, but apparently it's best consumed with the severed head of its creator. ...And his assistant bisected and cemented onto the container.
|What? I don't make the rules!
The poultry industry is going too far with these obese monster chickens.
|Surprisingly, not a planter like most ceramics I saw.
Most high class costume balls frown on people wearing chicken suits. That's why I recommend this hat for the stealth chicken costume.
|I'm kind of kicking myself for not getting it.
Mangy, half eaten deer head. Because there's always a mangy, half eaten deer head.
|It's a flea market rule.
What's long, hard, and needs 69 smackers to go home with you?
|What do you mean, "I wouldn't have guessed that?" How could you not guess a fish/horn?
"Doctor Creepy will see you now. Please ignore the giant pills and syringe on the floor."
|Unsurprisingly, he's Dr. Sexy's uncle.
Why is there always a horrifying shell creature from beyond the whatever?
|With a smashed face to boot.