Saturday, March 16, 2013

Saturday Flea Market Fuquerie Part 2: Disembodied Hillbillies

As mentioned last week, a friend and I went to a flea market together to document the weirdness. These are the things we found once inside...

It's entirely possible this cookie jar is the perfect deterrent to anyone who wants a cookie.
"Go ahead, reach inside. I won't bite..."

Or you could always go the demonic squirrel licking a jaundiced eyeball route for your cookie jar needs.
Or maybe it's a diseased breast. Either way, why the ever-loving fuck is it on a cookie jar?

In case you think shoving coins into the hollowed out remains of a pig is too pedestrian for your banking needs, consider shoving into the severed tail stump of a unidragonooster.
With a saddle, naturally.

Broken Back Horse is not talking to Mutant Penguin after he stole BBH's girlfriend, Head Standing Bird.
Another tale from Cars in Jars & Other Disappointing Children's Stories by Eunice Beaver.

Barbie the hooker grandma wants you to come closer so she can tell you about that time she got the clap.
"Why can't we go to Grandpa Ken's house instead?"

I don't know what Wildcat Juice is, but apparently it's best consumed with the severed head of its creator. ...And his assistant bisected and cemented onto the container.
What? I don't make the rules!

The poultry industry is going too far with these obese monster chickens.
Surprisingly, not a planter like most ceramics I saw.

Most high class costume balls frown on people wearing chicken suits. That's why I recommend this hat for the stealth chicken costume.
I'm kind of kicking myself for not getting it.

Mangy, half eaten deer head. Because there's always a mangy, half eaten deer head.
It's a flea market rule.

What's long, hard, and needs 69 smackers to go home with you?
What do you mean, "I wouldn't have guessed that?" How could you not guess a fish/horn?

"Doctor Creepy will see you now. Please ignore the giant pills and syringe on the floor."
Unsurprisingly, he's Dr. Sexy's uncle.

Why is there always a horrifying shell creature from beyond the whatever?
With a smashed face to boot.

1 comment:

  1. The lion's tongue looks m.o.i.s.t. Blergh. Shudder. Cringe.


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